I remember the very first time I realized I couldn’t manage my daughter’s addiction…or her recovery. She graduated from her first addiction treatment center and, after a few short weeks, had relapsed. This time her using seemed even worse: more lying, more consequences, and more resistance. Although she wasn’t living close to home, it didn’t matter.

I Knew in My Heart that this Disease was Bigger than Us

She needed more help, more support, from someone who had more experience than I did, from someone who wouldn’t be so eager to believe that everything would be fine that they didn’t see the red flags waving in plain sight.

When she finally returned to treatment I knew that I would have to do things differently and so would she, if her sobriety was going to last. I heard about the benefits of sober monitoring from a friend in a support group I was attending, so I did some research and found a program that seemed like a good fit.

My daughter was not pleased with this decision. She felt like I should trust her because she had gone back to rehab. But when I looked back on the numerous lies she had told me through out her addiction I realized that, as much as I wanted to trust her, it wasn’t trusting her that was the problem. The disease couldn’t be trusted.

The Benefits of Sober Monitoring Were Clear From the Start

They offered her support in a way that I simply could not. Besides, I had a lot of enabling behavior and codependency of my own to work on.

One of the benefits of sober monitoring is that they did random drug testing, required proof that she was attending 12-Step meetings (she had to get slips signed when she went to meetings), and were in contact with her sponsor to ensure that she was working a program of recovery. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of sober monitoring for my daughter was the rapport she developed with her monitor. Every week she would check in with the same representative from the program, who asked her how she was doing and helped her to identify any difficulties she was having. I finally had proof that my daughter was flourishing in sobriety!

I was delighted to see the benefits of sober monitoring – it was helping my child, and, to my surprise, it was helping me. I no longer felt compelled to run her program for her or invade her experience in recovery. I knew that I could believe her when she said she was doing alright because drug tests and monitoring reports proved it. What’s more is I could finally sleep peacefully, after having spent so many nights gripped with fear that I’d get that terrible phone call no parent wants to get. I didn’t have to live like that any more.

I learned a while back not to live in the future. This disease is powerful and cunning, but I know, and I trust, that for today, my daughter is safe and sober.

~ Anonymous

If someone you love is struggling with staying sober, please contact us at (337) 379-7700 anytime. We’re here to help.