When your spouse finds recovery, you may think you can finally exhale and that all of your relationship problems are suddenly going to be solved, right? Unfortunately, it isn’t quite so easy. Your spouse is learning to live an entirely different lifestyle, one that involves a “game plan” for when the cravings arise and stop them from thinking clearly. Your spouse will have setbacks along the way, and the goal of sobriety may take much trial and error.

Perhaps your first instinct is to protect your recovering spouse from environmental factors that could cause them to start drinking again. One of the most important elements in learning how to support someone in recovery is to realize that, just as you were unable to control their drinking, you are also powerless over their recovery process.

Another vital part of learning how to support your spouse is to take care of yourself. If you are physically and emotionally healthy, you will be a better support for your spouse. You will be a better listener so that your spouse can tell you what kind of support they need from you.

AlAnon‘s suggestions regarding how to support a recovering spouse are based on the three C’s:

You didn’t Cause it.

Your spouse’s drinking is not your fault, and it has nothing to do with you or your actions. You did not “drive” your spouse to drinking.

You can’t Control it.

No matter what you do and no matter how many ways you try, you have no power over your spouse’s drinking–or their recovery.

You can’t Cure it.

Your spouse has the potential to live a full and healthy life, free of addiction. But they will never be “cured” from addiction. They will need to commit to sobriety for the rest of their life.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please contact us at (337) 379-7700 anytime. We’re here to help.

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