Cycle of Addiction – A Personal Story
The cycle of addiction is a part of any person’s recovery story. While each individual is unique, the general truth is that addiction does not arise from external circumstances but from the internal climate. I used to think I was addicted because of my difficult circumstances. But I gradually learned that I used to muffle all of the feelings I didn’t want to feel: depression, anger, and anxiety.
My inability to handle my negative feelings was the beginning of the cycle of addiction.
That discontentedness would propel me into obsessive thoughts about using. I would think of how much better I would feel, how much fun I would have, or how I would finally just get to escape for a little while. These thoughts would crowd my mind and were so powerful that no matter what, I would find a way to use or drink and make it okay.
Then came the phenomenon of craving.
I found that once I used, the thoughts like “this time it will be different,” or “I’ll stay in control of it,” were of no avail. Those thoughts were gone. They seemed to disappear the moment I felt the effects of the substance. My resolve became nonexistent. Again, I would be actively using, not knowing when I would stop again.
I would emerge from my sprees with such remorse, feeling like a total and utter failure.
I would tell myself, my family, and my friends that it was never going to happen again, and I would mean it. I believed I could quit if I really wanted to quit. How untrue I found that to be. I never knew that I had an affliction of the mind, body, and spirit. I never knew that I would never regain control. My addiction only got worse. I would need to use more and more, and I would end up doing things I never thought I would. It was a vicious downward spiral.
The cycle of addiction would repeat in my life over and over again, despite the countless consequences of drug abuse. It wasn’t until I experienced an intervention of some sort that I was able to find recovery. If I hadn’t, I’m sure I would have continued to progress through this cycle and eventually have died from my addiction.
If you or someone you love is stuck in the cycle of addiction, get help now. Contact us anytime at 337.456.9111. We can help you break free from your addiction.
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